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Separation Planner

Separation Planner is here to help you, whether you just want to know where you stand or want to take action to start to separate or divorce. We know it’s a very difficult time and tough decisions might need to be taken.

We’ve brought together the best information and support to help you understand your situation and help you through it.

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Before you begin

In some unhealthy relationships, one person has more power than the other. This can affect how well you and your partner communicate and cooperate as you separate, and it can show up as abusive behaviours. You and your family’s safety may be at risk. 

If your partner makes you feel anxious or threatened, you should get help.

If you need to leave the site quickly, use the ‘click to leave in an emergency’ button at the top if the page and you will be taken to

We have a number of tools on this site to help you plan and safely separate from your partner. Begin with our Safe to Separate assessment tool to identify any risks you might have with separating and look into possible next steps.

How it works

Using Separation Planner can help you in two ways, to help you have more realistic conversations with your partner and to fast-track conversations with a legal representative, such as a solicitor, who can help you draw up the relevant paperwork to process your separation or divorce. This will save you both time and money.

We’ve brought together the best information and expertise to support you in documenting your situation and helping you to understand what outcomes you can expect from a separation or divorce process.

Not sure where to start?

You could be at any stage of separation from just thinking about separating to being divorced already. We recommend that you use our range of check your situation tools to learn more about where you are in your separation journey and what support and next steps you can take.

Create an account and you’ll be able to save the information you get in the check your situation tools and access it from your activity dashboard we’ll create for you by simply logging back into the website.

You’ll also have access to a range of other tools, checklists and calculators to help you understand more about your current situation.

You can chat to one of our trained counsellors who will support you in getting started with Separation Planner. They’ll help you with any questions you have about using the service and make sure you know where to start, given your unique situation.

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Relate also has a range of other support and mediation services that may help you at this time. Our counsellors will talk you through what’s available to you.

Check your situation

Safe to Separate

Everyone has arguments from time to time. When you are separating these can become more frequent. But sometimes one partner is more dominant in the relationship than the other. This can create unhealthy relationships and lead to behaviours that are abusive potentially putting you and your children at increased risk of harm.

This tool helps you to think about your relationship and consider your safety risks. It gives you an action plan to help you all stay safe during separation.

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Ready to Separate

Whether you are you are just going through separation or have been separated for a while, this tool can help you get some clarity and help you think about what to do next.

You’ll answer some questions about your relationship and family life. You’ll learn about separation, the law, and you'll find support and guidance to help make this difficult time easier for you and your family.

couple fighting on bed

Starting to Separate

Separation is a time of big change. You and your ex-partner will need to many decisions about how you’re going to live your lives apart.

This tool can help you organise yourself at this busy and emotionally difficult time. Understand your rights and responsibilities and what legal processes you may need to follow and identify issues you and your ex-partner may need to focus on first.

There’s a lot to think about and understand when you separate. This tool will get you started.

mum and child

We’d love to hear from you...

Tell your story

We’d love to know how Separation Planner helped you in your situation. Tell us in your own words what worked for you, what if anything was missing and what could be improved.

If you’re interested in telling your story,  complete the form on the tell your story page to get the process started. It’s very easy to do and shouldn’t take too long.

What do you think of Separation Planner?

We’d love to get your feedback on your experience of using Separation Planner. We’ve put together a survey that gives you the opportunity to tell us what you think.

We’ll use your information to understand better how our users use the service and to help us improve it for users in the future.

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