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Preparing to tell the children

Many people who’ve separated say separation is worse than death because when someone dies you can have a funeral and say goodbye. When you separate, you experience the death of your 'couple relationship' and yet there are no obvious rituals like a funeral to help you. This can make things hard to move on.

Man looking defensive

Talking to grown up children

Even though your child may have grown up and in many ways be independent, inside your adult son or daughter is a child watching their mum and dad separate.

talking to an older child

Understanding your child's needs and behaviour

Most children do come to terms with their parents’ separation and adjust to changes in family life. But it can take months or even years. You and your child's other parent may discover different needs from your child at different times.

understanding your children's needs

Involving children in decisions

As you become a separated co-parent, you’ll have many decisions to make, now and in the future. This can seem daunting.

separation checklists

Your child’s self-esteem

Sometimes children have bad thoughts and feelings about themselves when their parents split up. They think that somehow they must be to blame for their mum and dad’s separation.

child's self esteem

Ask Ammanda: How do I tell my grown-up children I'm getting a divorce?

Our youngest son (18) recently left home to move to another city. Things haven’t been good between me and my husband for a while (i.e. five years or more), but having time to talk about things properly has made it clear neither of our hearts are really in this anymore.

How do I tell my grown-up children

Protecting children from arguments

Much as you may not want to argue within sight or sound of your children, it can happen. Separation is a difficult time for everyone.

Protecting children from arguments

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