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Safe to Separate

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Safe to Separate

To help you handle your separation or divorce in a safe way, it’s important you understand any signs of abuse.

This tool will ask you questions about abusive behaviours with your (ex-)partner. It will help you assess your level of risk. You’ll also get supporting information, and the tool will guide you to organisations and services that can help you with your safety concerns. 

We know these questions can be difficult to answer. This pathway will take you less than 15 minutes to complete. Your answers are completely anonymous.

Understanding signs and types of abuse

The next six questions about abusive behaviours may be difficult for you to answer. Remember, your answers are anonymous. Answering these questions and reading the information that follows them will help you assess your level of risk.

Do any of the following describe your financial situation with your (ex-)partner?
(Tick all that apply)
Do any of these describe the way your (ex-)partner communicates with you?
(Tick all that apply)
Do any of the following describe your (ex-)partner’s behaviour?
(Tick all that apply)
Do any of the following describe your (ex-)partner’s physical behaviour?
(Tick all that apply)
Do any of the following describe your sexual relationship with your (ex-)partner?
(Tick all that apply)
If you select ‘I’m not sure’ we’ll ask a few more questions to help you better understand your situation.

Keeping safe

The next five questions will ask you to consider factors about your living situation, future plans and your (ex-)partner that may affect how safe you are and may put you and your family members at a higher risk if you are in an abusive relationship.

What is your current living situation?
Does your (ex-)partner have:
(Tick all that apply)
Do any of the following describe your (ex-)partner's behaviour and use of technology in your relationship?
(Tick all that apply)
Do any of the following describe how you feel and behave in your relationship?
(Tick all that apply)
You’ve told us that you, or a member of your family, is in danger right now.

Contact the police immediately to report the violence. You should call 999 in an emergency or 101 in a non-emergency or you can attend a police station in person to report an incident.

Most police stations have Domestic Violence Units or Community Safety Units with specially trained officers to deal with domestic violence and abuse. As many kinds of domestic abuse are criminal offences, police can arrest, caution or charge the person involved. 

Women’s Aid have helpful information on what happens when you call the police.

It’s important you prepare for any further violent incidents should your (ex-)partner be released from police custody.

There are a number of organisations that can also give you help and advice:

National Domestic Violence Helpline (run jointly by Women’s Aid and Refuge)
Immediate help for women and children faced with domestic abuse. Freephone 24/7 helpline: 0808 2000 247
Women’s Aid have put together a Survivor’s Handbook with guidance on every aspect of seeking support for domestic abuse. 

National Centre for Domestic Violence
Supports victims of domestic abuse apply for an injunction (i.e. non-molestation order or occupation order) often within 24 hours: 0800 970 2070

Galop
National lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans+ domestic abuse helpline: 0800 999 5428

Men’s Advice Line
Advice and support for men experiencing domestic violence: 0808 801 0327

You’ve told us that you, or a member of your family, might be in danger right now.

Even if you are not sure, or violence is just a possibility, you should seek help. Your safety and that of your child/ren or family members is your priority.

Contact the police immediately to report the violence. You should call 999 in an emergency or 101 in a non-emergency or you can attend a police station in person to report an incident.

Most police stations have Domestic Violence Units or Community Safety Units with specially trained officers to deal with domestic violence and abuse. As many kinds of domestic abuse are criminal offences, police can arrest, caution or charge the person involved.

It’s important you prepare for any further violent incidents should your (ex-)partner be released from police custody.

These agencies can offer further advice and support about domestic violence and abuse.

Women’s Aid have helpful information on what happens when you call the police.

It’s important you prepare for any further violent incidents should your (ex-)partner be released from police custody.

There are a number of organisations that can also give you help and advice:

National Domestic Violence Helpline (run jointly by Women’s Aid and Refuge)
Immediate help for women and children faced with domestic abuse. Freephone 24/7 helpline: 0808 2000 247
Women’s Aid have put together a Survivor’s Handbook with guidance on every aspect of seeking support for domestic abuse. 

National Centre for Domestic Violence
Supports victims of domestic abuse apply for an injunction (i.e. non-molestation order or occupation order) often within 24 hours: 0800 970 2070

Galop
National lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans+ domestic abuse helpline: 0800 999 5428

Men’s Advice Line
Advice and support for men experiencing domestic violence: 0808 801 0327

Further information and help

Would you like to get any safety information and resources?
(Tick all that apply)

Thank you to The Legal Education Foundation for supporting this work. This tool is based on the pioneering work by BC Legal Services Society’s MyLawBC.

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Check your situation with our assessment tools

  • Ready to Separate

    Whether you are you are just going through separation or have been separated for a while, this tool can help you get some clarity and help you think about what to do next.

    You’ll answer some questions about your relationship and family life. You’ll learn about separation, the law, and you'll find support and guidance to help make this difficult time easier for you and your family.

    couple fighting on bed

  • Starting to Separate

    Separation is a time of big change. You and your ex-partner will need to many decisions about how you’re going to live your lives apart.

    This tool can help you organise yourself at this busy and emotionally difficult time. Understand your rights and responsibilities and what legal processes you may need to follow and identify issues you and your ex-partner may need to focus on first.

    There’s a lot to think about and understand when you separate. This tool will get you started.

    mum and child

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