Ready to Separate
Before you begin
In some unhealthy relationships, one person has more power than the other. This can affect how well you and your partner communicate and cooperate as you separate, and it can show up as abusive behaviours. Your and your family’s safety may be at risk.
If your partner makes you feel anxious or threatened, you should get help. If you are in immediate danger, dial 999 for the police. Women can call the freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 at any time. Men can call the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327.
This tool will help you consider what’s involved when thinking about how separation or divorce. Are you really ready for this? It may feel like the only way forward. Some days you may feel more confident of your decision than others. You may still face many dilemmas, all of which come with mixed emotions and uncertainty. The pressure for this to be “the right” decision can be enormous, especially when you have children. Being confronted by your partner’s decision to separate may have left you feeling hurt and devastated, with your life seeming to spin out of control with this turn in events. How did it come to this?
You are more likely to come to good agreements about how to lead your lives apart if both you and your (ex-)partner are prepared and ready emotionally and practically to take this step.
This tool will help you explore how ready you and your ex-partner are to separate or divorce. You’ll answer some questions about your relationship and family life, and how you’re managing the end of your relationship. You’ll identify the issues you and your (ex-)partner need to focus on to make sure your communication doesn’t get stuck or conflict escalates.
It’s completely anonymous, free and should only take you around 15 minutes to complete. You’ll get a personalised summary that you can download or print out.
It is helpful if you are just going through separation, and even if you have been separated for a while but are now looking to end your relationship formally, maybe with a divorce. It is good to know where you are at.
86.8% of users of the Ready to Separate tool were satisfied or very satisfied with the information and support they received
(based on usage up to 9th September 2020)
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Everyone has arguments from time to time. When you are separating these can become more frequent. But sometimes one partner is more dominant in the relationship than the other. This can create unhealthy relationships and lead to behaviours that are abusive potentially putting you and your children at increased risk of harm.
This tool helps you to think about your relationship and consider your safety risks. It gives you an action plan to help you all stay safe during separation.
Separation is a time of big change. You and your ex-partner will need to many decisions about how you’re going to live your lives apart.
This tool can help you organise yourself at this busy and emotionally difficult time. Understand your rights and responsibilities and what legal processes you may need to follow and identify issues you and your ex-partner may need to focus on first.
There’s a lot to think about and understand when you separate. This tool will get you started.