Getting organised

The Money Advice Service offer advice on if you have a connection to a different part of the UK to where you currently live, or to another country outside of the UK, you might be able to start your divorce or dissolution proceedings there.

The Money Advice Service offer advice on if you’re divorcing or dissolving your civil partnership and you want to know how much it’s likely to cost. Some costs, such as court fees, are fixed. Others, such as legal fees, will depend on how much legal advice you take and what the solicitor charges. You may be able to get help with the costs.

Separation is a time of big change and many decisions must be made. It can help if decisions are taken calmly. Drawing up checklists can be a good way to organise yourself at this busy and emotionally difficult time.

Sometimes when you’ve started to talk to your partner you can get to a point where you realise you’re going nowhere. You can’t seem to agree on anything.

Once you’ve decided there’s no future in your relationship, the first thing you need to do is talk openly and honestly with your partner. Next, your children need to be told. Only after that should you consider telling others.

Relief, guilt, failure, freedom. These are just some of the many feelings you may experience when your relationship ends and you face the prospect of parenting separately. It can feel a little like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, especially when you go through very different feelings very quickly indeed.

Many people who’ve separated say separation is worse than death because when someone dies you can have a funeral and say goodbye. When you separate, you experience the death of your 'couple relationship' and yet there are no obvious rituals like a funeral to help you. This can make things hard to move on.

When you lose a relationship you can feel as if the loss has put you on a roller-coaster of emotions. You may experience many different feelings, including anger, blame, guilt, fear, relief and even euphoria – often in quick succession.

The Money Advice Service offer advice on If both of you have agreed to end your relationship and your finances are straightforward, you should be able to sort out a divorce or dissolution relatively quickly and cheaply.

As an adult, we’re expected to cope with all the bad things life throws at us. We’re grown up and supposed to be strong. But sometimes the future can look very complicated or bleak. If your thoughts and feelings seem overwhelming, it can help to remember that you’ve probably already coped with a great deal in life already and survived.

If your child’s other parent says bad or untrue things about you to your child it can be hurtful. Perhaps your child has told you what their other parent said. Perhaps you heard it from someone else. Either way, you may feel as if you have to defend yourself. That can be difficult and tiring for you.

When couples are separating many thoughts and feelings can bring anger to the surface. At different times you may be angry with your ex, your family, your friends or others around you – even with yourself.

The Money Advice Service offer advice on If you are thinking about getting divorced or dissolving your civil partnership in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, but haven’t yet filed the papers.