Sometimes when you’ve started to talk to your partner you can get to a point where you realise you’re going nowhere. You can’t seem to agree on anything.
We've got stuck
The key to moving forward is understanding that becoming unstuck is generally achieved through working together. This is true in families and in businesses, but also in any relationship where the parties depends upon each other, such as when parenting apart.
Moving towards win:win
If you’re fixed on an ideal outcome of your talks, then this can block any kind of resolution. Even if you could get an agreement, it could cause resistance or resentment further down the line. However, if you focus too much on what your partner wants, you could be the one feeling resentful in the future.
Briefly, “I win, you lose” or “I lose, you win” are ineffective strategies in the short or longer term. They can cause a lot of heartache and stress.
Find your nearest Relate
We have Relate Centres across England and Wales, offering different services and workshops to help you improve your relationships.
Find out what’s available in your area. Use our searchable map to find out what’s available near you.
We've got stuck
Improving your negotiation
Try this activity to move your negotiation to a ‘win:win’ outcome.
Write down the key points you want to discuss with your partner. You can then consider all the possible options which would satisfy you both. You may find the following tips helpful for doing this:
- Separate the person from the problem. Really seek to understand and express the needs and concerns of your partner.
- Identify key issues and concerns on both sides
- Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution
- Identify and discuss possible new options
- Aim for a win:win solution
Why not try our ‘Ready to separate’ tool?
Facing the end of your relationship can be traumatic and confusing. Our free tool can help you work out what to do next.