Looking after yourself and others
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Surviving the emotional roller-coaster
Relief, guilt, failure, freedom. These are just some of the many feelings you may experience when your relationship ends and you face the prospect of parenting separately. It can feel a little like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, especially when you go through very different feelings very quickly indeed.
Moving on
Many people who’ve separated say separation is worse than death because when someone dies you can have a funeral and say goodbye. When you separate, you experience the death of your 'couple relationship' and yet there are no obvious rituals like a funeral to help you. This can make things hard to move on.
Sadness and fear
When you lose a relationship you can feel as if the loss has put you on a roller-coaster of emotions. You may experience many different feelings, including anger, blame, guilt, fear, relief and even euphoria – often in quick succession.
Feeling overwhelmed
As an adult, we’re expected to cope with all the bad things life throws at us. We’re grown up and supposed to be strong. But sometimes the future can look very complicated or bleak. If your thoughts and feelings seem overwhelming, it can help to remember that you’ve probably already coped with a great deal in life already and survived.
Coping with your ex-partner's negative comments
If your child’s other parent says bad or untrue things about you to your child it can be hurtful. Perhaps your child has told you what their other parent said. Perhaps you heard it from someone else. Either way, you may feel as if you have to defend yourself. That can be difficult and tiring for you.
Coping with anger
When couples are separating many thoughts and feelings can bring anger to the surface. At different times you may be angry with your ex, your family, your friends or others around you – even with yourself.
DIY (do-it-yourself) divorce or dissolution
The Money Advice Service offer advice on If both of you have agreed to end your relationship and your finances are straightforward, you should be able to sort out a divorce or dissolution relatively quickly and cheaply.
Separation agreements instead of divorce or dissolution
The Money Advice Service offer advice on If you are thinking about getting divorced or dissolving your civil partnership in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, but haven’t yet filed the papers.
A guide to international divorce or dissolution
The Money Advice Service offer advice on if you have a connection to a different part of the UK to where you currently live, or to another country outside of the UK, you might be able to start your divorce or dissolution proceedings there.
Useful links
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This guide explains how divorce and dissolution of civil partnerships work, what you can expect, what you need to think about, what the law says, how to come to agreements, and what help is out there to help you plan for the future.
A survival guide to divorce or dissolution of a civil partnership -
This guide is everything you need to find your way through the maze. It explains what you need to do to get a divorce or end a civil partnership, and how to do it if you do not have a lawyer
How to get a divorce or end a civil partnership without the help of a lawyer -
If you are married or in a civil partnership, you can get a divorce or dissolution if you do not know where your husband, wife or civil partner is or they’re presumed dead.
Divorce or end a civil partnership if your partner is missing -
When you separate from your partner, there are things you'll need to work out. The partner you’re separating from could be your husband, wife or civil partner - even if you’re not divorcing or ending your civil partnership straight away.
Deciding what to do when you separate -
If you know you’re ready to end your marriage permanently, you should get a divorce. You can get a legal separation if you don’t want to get a divorce - for example, if you don’t agree with divorce for religious or cultural reasons.
Ways to end your marriage -
You can legally end your civil partnership by asking the court for a ‘dissolution order’. You can only do this if your civil partnership has lasted for at least one year.
Ending a civil partnership