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Agreement builder - Children

Set up an account

Setup an account

You can use the tools within Separation Planner without the need for an account, but if you want to save them so you can update or change them in the future setting up an account now is the best thing to do.

If you’ve already setup an account, login before you start using the tool, so any work you do will be saved into your activity dashboard.


82% of users reported they were satisfied or very satisfied with Separation Planners’ tools

(based on usage up to 9th September 2020)

What do you think of Separation Planner?

We’ve put together a survey that gives you the opportunity to tell us what you think. We will use your information to understand better how our users use the service and to help us improve it for users in the future.

Getting started

When answering the questions that follow, keep in mind the best interests of your children. You might not have fully formed answers to every question at this stage, that’s okay. You can come back to each agreement builder in Separation Planner and add more detail as you go. Login and access your activity dashboard and select the ‘Edit’ button on the agreement builder you want to update.

The process of answering the questions in each agreement builder should help you consider what outcomes are best for your children and both of you. They can form a useful starting point when discussing your situation with your ex-partner or a legal representative such as a solicitor.

As parents we recognise our children’s rights to feel emotionally and physically safe and secure. They have a right to feel loved and cared for by both of us and their significant family members. They should be able to build independent and meaningful relationships with each of us.

We, as parents, accept responsibility for our children’s physical and emotional care, health and safety. We will adapt this as our children grow and mature and protect them from any harmful parental conflict. We will respect our children’s relationships with each of us and co-operate with each other to make decisions that are in our children’s best interests.


For example, bedtimes, when homework is done, staying out late etc.
Do we need regular meetings to discuss parenting issues?
If you want to, you can explain your reasons for your choice in the follow on question.
Should we discuss how we talk to the children about the other parent?
If you want to, you can explain your reasons for your choice in the follow on question.

Childcare arrangements

Where will be the main place the children will live?
For example, birthdays and religious festivals
Will anyone else, other than your ex-partner, look after your children?
For example, childminders, babysitters, relatives, new partners, friends or neighbours. If you want to, you can explain your reasons for your choice in the follow on question.
Consider bank holidays and teacher training days as well as school holidays.

Money and children

For example, making provision for college or university.

Children’s living costs

Use our children’s living costs tool to calculate day to day costs for your children. This will give you an understanding about how much money you will need on a weekly basis to cater for day to day costs and larger spend items for your children. This will give you something to compare with child maintenance calculations from the child maintenance calculator.

Transfer the figures from the children’s living costs and child maintenance calculator tools into the section below. When you’ve finished adding information to the agreement builder, select the ‘finish’ button and, if you’ve setup an account, it will be saved to your activity dashboard.

Will child maintenance be paid?
You can calculate this using the child maintenance calculator in the children topic


Have you made contact with school counsellors so that they know about our separation and how it might affect the children?

Other issues

For example, dentists, doctor or hospital visits.
Are there long term health issues that you need to consider?
If you want to, you can explain your choice in the follow on question.

Check your situation with our assessment tools

  • Motivation checker - Children

    How you’re going to be effective co-parents apart is one of the most important things you’ll need to figure out. It can be one of the hardest issues – very emotive. This tool aims to give you a head start to managing this well. It will help you explore your own motivations and emotions, and be curious about where your ex may be coming from and what lies behind their ideas.

    Child eating cereals
  • Children's living costs

    Use this tool to do some basic calculations on day to day costs for your child/ren. This will help you when planning your next steps.

    children living costs

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