Motivation checker - Children
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You can use the tools within Separation Planner without the need for an account, but if you want to save them so you can update or change them in the future setting up an account now is the best thing to do.
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How you’re going to be effective co-parents apart is one of the most important things you’ll need to figure out. It can be one of the hardest issues – very emotive.
It’s also the area where you’re likely to have continued contact with your ex-partner. As parents, you need to work it out now, and you’ll need to keep workings things out until your children have grown up.
This tool aims to give you a head start to managing this well. This can come from thinking about what’ll be in the best interest of your child/ren. If you can focus on this, rather than positions you and your ex-partner may take, you’re more likely to find common ground and a way forward.
The tool will also help you explore your own motivations and emotions, and be curious about where your ex may be coming from and what lies behind their ideas. It is a time to be honest, even if what you or your ex want is different from ideals of parenting you may hold.
It’ll take about 5 minutes to complete. It’s completely confidential. You’ll get a report which gives you a record to come back to. It’ll summarise key interests will give you helpful principles against which to interrogate your ideas and proposals for children’s arrangements.
- Be honest with yourself
- Focusing on interests helps to put ego aside
- Be open as this will help with negotiations with your ex
- Be curious, compassionate and non-judgemental about your partner
- Put your child/ren’s best interests first in your separation or divorce
Find out more
Check your situation with our assessment tools
The process of answering the questions in each agreement builder should help you consider what outcomes are best for your children and both of you. They can form a useful starting point when discussing your situation with your ex-partner or a legal representative such as a solicitor.